In the United States, there is 1 divorce every 36 seconds. That equals around 2,400 divorces each day, and 16,800 divorces weekly.

But we know you didn’t get married just to get divorced. And no, marriage doesn’t have to feel like a life sentence.

Read on to discover 8 signs that you should consider marriage counseling.

1. You Have the Same Fight Over and Over Again

One of the biggest hints that you need relationship counseling is when you constantly have the same fight.

Whether it’s about taking out the trash or not spending money, if as a couple you aren’t able to resolve an issue, it will keep coming up.

This is very frustrating to couples because it feels like they aren’t getting anywhere. When you always have the same argument, it can feel like trying to communicate with each other is pointless. Pretty soon, one or both of you will give up and withdraw.

The main benefit of marriage counseling is learning how to communicate so both sides are heard.

You’ll learn how to listen, really listen, and get where you partner is coming from. You’ll get tips to help you find resolutions so that you don’t have a big fight each time the milk is empty. And then peace in the home can be restored.

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2. Not Wanting to Spend Time Together

If you or your spouse doesn’t have a desire to spend time with the other person, you likely need marriage counseling.

When you have been together for a while, you may begin to act more like roommates than like a married couple. Of course, you don’t need to spend every waking second with your husband or wife. Yet, you should still want and look forward to time as a couple.

Counseling can help a couple grow close again.

3. Infidelity

Studies suggest that up to 25% of men and 11% of women will at some point have an extramarital affair.

You might be surprised to learn that most couples who experience infidelity stay together. In fact, infidelity is the number one reason that brings couples to a marriage counselor.

Couples therapy can help partners learn to forgive and build back trust. Though infidelity is an excruciatingly painful experience, it can result in a stronger, happier marriage.

4. Lack of Intimacy

The sexual aspect of a marriage is vital.

Sure, couples might go through dry spells throughout their marriage during certain situations such as after the birth of a baby or when one partner is working through a career change. Yet, lack of intimacy over a long period of time is a red flag.

If you and your spouse no longer touch, couples therapy can help. Though it might be difficult to open up about this topic, a marriage counselor has a lot of experience helping couples with this issue. You are not the first couple to go through this.

Just know that the spark has not died. You can enjoy a vibrant, sexual relationship with your spouse no matter how many years you’ve been married.

5. Secrecy

A healthy marriage is open and all about sharing. If you or your spouse is keeping secrets, a marriage counselor can help you get to the root of the problem.

One type of secrecy that can crop up in a marriage is financial secrecy. Though everyone handles their finances differently, a sudden change in how money is spent or a new desire to control the finances could lead to big problems.

In couple therapy, you will learn how to have healthy communications about money without the need to resort to secrecy.

6. You’re Waiting For Your Spouse to Change

If you are in a marriage where you keep waiting for your spouse to change, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

The only person you can control is yourself. If you try to change someone else, it likely won’t take. True change only happens when it comes from the individual.

A marriage counselor can help you better understand what you want and need from your spouse. Couples therapy will also enable both of you to relate better.

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7. You’re on Opposite Teams

You and your spouse should feel like you are both on the same team. If you feel that you are on opposite teams, you would benefit from marriage counseling.

Feeling at war with your spouse can lead to deep resentment and negativity in the home. In most marriages, there is an underlying cause of these feelings.

A marriage counselor can help you uncover these feelings and help you see what is going on. Once these issues surface, you are able to meet them head on and turn the hostility into teamwork.

8. You Think You Need Help

Even if you don’t relate to any of the other signs on this list, you can get marriage counseling. If you feel that it would help your marriage, that’s a good enough reason to seek couples therapy.

The role of a marriage counselor is to help you improve your relationship. He or she can help you start where you are and learn how you can better your marriage so that you both feel fulfilled, nurtured and supported.

Even happy couples can get great benefits from marriage counseling.

Final Thoughts on Marriage Counseling

The best thing you can do when you are considering marriage counseling is to give it a try. Be open-minded about it.

Spend time cultivating your marriage and your relationship will blossom. Why not surprise your loved one with a simple gift that shows you are willing to try, and then suggest counseling so you can start to repair your relationship.