Top 9 Pieces of Advice for Parents of Addicts

It’s never easy to help a loved one deal with their addiction. But it can be even harder when that loved one is your own child.

You may not even recognize your fun-loving daughter or adventurous son anymore. But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do for them. With your help, your child can overcome addiction and start to get back to the life they had before this disease took over.

The good news is that you’re already doing the first step–seeking advice for parents of addicts. If you want to know how you can help your child, keep reading.

1. Join a Support Group

Your child may be your primary concern right now, but don’t forget about your own mental health. Having a loved one struggling with addiction is a challenging and emotional journey.

That’s why there are tons of support groups for families of addicts. You can meet people going through similar situations and support each other as you try to help your loved one.

Plus, this is a great place to learn more about addiction. You may get the perfect idea or piece of advice from someone in the support group.

2. Work as a Team

It’s important to remain a united front when having hard talks with your child. Not only should you discuss your plans beforehand (i.e. agreeing not to supply drugs, give money, etc.) but you should be sure to confront your child together.

Having one-on-one talks can be tricky. When alone, one parent may be swayed or crack under pressure and give in to your child’s wishes. But when you confront your child together, you can back each other up and make sure you don’t buckle.

3. Don’t Fix Their Problems for Them

Your child calls you crying that they’ve been arrested. They sneak some drinks at Thanksgiving dinner and try to pick a fight with Aunt Linda. They come home in the middle of the night and pass out on the front lawn.

Parents of addicts know these behaviors are all too likely to happen. And when they do, your first instinct is probably going to fix their problems.

But this is just another way of enabling them. If you bail them out of jail, smooth over things with Aunt Linda, and bring them inside when it starts to rain, they’ll never learn that their actions have consequences.

However, spending a night in jail or waking up muddy and wet in the front lawn may help them realize what drugs or alcohol is doing to them.

4. Cut the Purse Strings

If your child has already moved out of the house, you may be enabling them by offering financial support. If they lost their job due to drugs, but you pay their rent, they won’t be facing the consequences.

Cutting the purse strings forces them to responsible for their actions and show up to work instead of staying home and doing drugs.

You can employ a similar tactic with underage children, too. Stop giving them pocket money to go out with friends and don’t pay for their car insurance, inspection, or gas. Instead, tell them they need to get a part-time job.

5. Support Good Decisions

If your child voices a positive idea, support it. This could include long-term goals, like going back to school, or short-term goals, like apologizing to a family member they’ve hurt.

Keep your eyes out for the not-so-obvious good decisions as well. Offering to plan their little sister’s birthday party or asking to take guitar lessons should also be supported. These can bring new meaning and purpose to their life and gives them something healthy to do.

6. Talk About Treatment

Of course, you can’t just talk about the problems drugs or alcohol have caused in your child’s life. You also want to talk to them about treatment.

Research local treatment centers and learn about the different options available, such as in-patient facilities and MAT for recovery from addiction. Collect brochures or print out information you find online and keep it on hand.

Continue to bring up treatment. Addicts likely won’t be ready to accept treatment right away. But over time, as they begin to face the consequences of their actions, they may be more receptive to the idea.

7. But Talk About Other Things Too

Many parents make the mistake of putting all the focus on their child’s drug problem. They think if you talk about it enough, your child is bound to come around.

However, this can push them even further away.

Make sure you talk about other things, too. Remember what you used to talk about before addiction took over and try to reconnect with them.

Having fun with loved ones and making happy memories can help motivate your child to make a change in their life. They may see how compassionate you are and how much better their life could be if they didn’t do drugs.

8. Stay Level Headed

You walk outside to leave for work one morning and see that your child has knocked over your mailbox when coming home under the influence last night. It’s only natural to want to burst into their room and start yelling.

However, addicts do not respond well to anger. They’re in a very sensitive state and yelling could lead them to do more drugs.

Instead, make sure you keep a level head whenever talking about their addiction and the impact it has. Be calm and respectful, and don’t forget to listen to what they want to say.

Fostering communication is an important step in helping them overcome their disease, so you’ll want to make sure you are in the right state of mind before initiating a conversation.

9. Don’t Try to Get to the Root of the Problem

As humans, it’s only natural to want to understand why. Why did your child get involved in drugs and why won’t they stop?

But when talking about their addiction, resist the urge to pry. Don’t ask overly-personal questions or bring up negative parts of their life in an attempt to figure out why they turned to drugs.

Although it may not seem like it from the outside, addicts are sensitive. Bringing up these hard memories or badgering them with questions could cause them to shut down or get the urge to do more drugs, and you’ll lose any progress you’ve made.

Let the specially-trained drug and alcohol counselors help them get to the root of the problem when the time is right. For now, focus on the addiction itself and how it’s affecting them and those around them.

Advice for Parents of Addicts

If your child has become addicted to drugs or alcohol, you may feel like you’ve lost them for good. But don’t give up hope! Just follow the advice for parents of addicts outlined above, so you can help them overcome their disease.

Are you looking for all the information you can find? Then check out this article for more tips for helping someone with addiction.

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